I have made it my new year resolution to get to know and under stand the Lord better. As a child I use to got to church on a regular basis. As I got older I just stopped going. No reason really, I still believed and had faith, but didn't go to church. I feel now that I am in my mid 30's that I wasted alot of time to get to know and understand the teachings of out savior. I have cheated myself out of a relationship with the Lord.
One of the many questions I have asked myself over the years is does he really hear me when I pray. I believe he does. It may not be written out in front of me, but I believe it is in his teachings. I have prayed many times for him to do things for me and as far as I know he has always answered. Even though I am sick right now and pray all the time that he heals me and I am still sick has not changed my belief he will. There have been times when I have doubted and still do today.
I am not active with a church therefore I have cheated my children a relationship with the Lord. For this I am truly regretful. I believe they should have the opportunity to have that relationship and pass on to their children. My parents were never much of the church crowd, but I do know they believe. I am sure they pray as well. Does the Lord not listen if you only pray when you need something? When you are sick, or when you are down? These are the types of questions I sometime ask myself, which I believe stems to my own doubts. Well I want to remove any doubts I have. I trust the Lord will show me the path and direction he wants me to follow. I believe one day he will heal my current health problems and send me in the path of a doctor or someone that he wants to heal me. At this time in my life I do believe it is time for me to have a relationship with the Lord. Is it because I am sick and have been for months? Maybe it is, but is that wrong of me? I don't think it is. I think the Lord has been waiting for me to follow his path and is trying to show me the way and allow me into his kingdom. I pray this does happen quickly. I am not looking for money or any greedy thing. I am truly wanting a relationship with our savior. He will provide for my family and I as he sees fit. Sometimes the road may not be the smoothest, but with my faith and his help it can be a beautiful journey, I am willing to take.
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