On to another sob story about myself. Today has not been a good day at all. Of course there is the normal daily pain, but today I have been struggling with depression pretty bad. I have finally decided that I need help of some kind. So I sent an email to my employee assistance program. I am embarrassed by it, but know if I can actually go through with it. I hope I can and maybe I can regain some control of my life since another test for my digestive problems have came back normal. There are no more tests that can be done. I guess I will have to live with the pain the rest of my life and I am only in my mid 30's. The news upset me, but in reality I just didn't think anything would show up since nothing else has. I think I am going to have to make some hard decisions that will likely effect me for years to come. They want me to enter into a pain managment program, but I am afraid if I do I will lose my job. I can't handle that and can't let down the ones I love so much. My wife, kids and parents. Guess I never planned for the what ifs in life and now one has slapped me dead in the face and I don't know how to handle it. There are so many things inn life i wanted and want to do, but don't look like I will get the chance.
It's late and I am going to bed.
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